How the woman’s suffrage movement started

Our Kind Loveable Cavemen

Back in the days of the caveman, women have always had it easy. It was always up to the Man of the Cave to go out and hunt for food and put himself in danger. Any one of the many dangerous creatures such as saber-toothed tigers, wooly mammoths and samurai ninjas could’ve killed the man. Hecks, even if the animals didn’t get to him, his little wooly mammoth would’ve frozen off, since all the women can do even with all the vast spare time she has, was to make fur clothing for the man without any bottoms to stop the freezing cold from whooshing up from the south thus freezing his balls off. And after he brings home the food, the women wouldn’t even give him any until he learned to create fire and bring home flowers.It’s the ice age woman! Where we going to find flowers?

Anyhoot. Fast forward many years down the road to about the year 2000 (because Y2K rules), it was still the same. Women had it easy, stay home, watch TV, eat bon bons and create a list of things they can argue about when the man came home.

The Evil Woman at home plotting against the man. Look at her force animals to do her bidding.

But then came a shimmer of light. An intelligent Man worshiping woman by the name of Susan B. Anthony (no relation) decided to put an end to this easy lifestyle. She began the Women’s Suffrage movement to put some suffering back into lives of women.

There she is. The Champion of men everywhere

First thing she did to make women suffer was to allow women the right to work. Kick ass, now it’s not up to the man to be the breadwinner of the family. The lazy harlot would have to go out and earn her keep as well. Oh and better yet, instead of giving them special treatment at work because they are always weak and pregnant, Susan B. Anthony worked hard and created something called “Equal Rights Amendment” Brilliant. No more discrimination because of sex. No more giving women leeway, and shafting the men. No more sleeping with managers to get promotions. They had to be treated the same as a man. Now in order for the women to be promoted, she has to actually work for it. Who would’ve thunk it?

Thanks to Susan B. Anthony free riders such as Monica will have to actually work to get a promotion.

And Old Susie B. went even a step further in a stroke of pure genius by inserting a super secret agent spy created by men, known only by her codename, M.a.r.t.h.a. S.t.e.w.a.r.t. Superspy Martha Stewart’s job would be to teach women how to better take care of the home. To teach women how to properly cook, and serve man.

M.A.R.T.H.A. S.T.E.W.A.R.T. Super spy extraordinaire

But wait, we’re not even done yet. Susan B. Anthony is a total machine. She can’t be stopped. She even passed an amendment with congress and gave women the right to vote. Now the man doesn’t have to suffer by going out on election night in the cold dark evenings, the women has to come also and suffer as well. Comrade Susan B. Anthony also created high heels for women to wear. She took the idea of ancient Chinese Foot Binding techniques where Manly Chinese men with chests of steel and divine hair like yours truly would bind the feet of their women so they could not run away and had to serve us. Kick ass. So she modernizes it by making shiny pink and red high heeled shoes. I mean, no women can turn down Pink and Red! They can turn down Pink, or Red, but not both. And when you add a little fur to the side, it’s like a crack addiction.

Notice the women is drawn in red. Red is the color of the Devil. Just look at her horns

Oh the glee she has brought to the man to watch the women suffer while she struts around all awkward at work and watching her smash her head on a low ceiling or beam because of her now elevated height. It’s like entertainment every single minute of the day. So let us always remember this legendary figure, and drink a shot, and smack a hoe in honor of the great Susan B. Anthony who brought suffering back into the lives of women.