The Truth about Chuck Norris

–JonnyKu once stole candy from a baby, turns out it was Chuck Norris. This explained his extreme hatred for all things Asian.

–Chuck Norris once lost a bet to JonnyKu in arm wrestling. He now had to attend Ballet Classes. This is the origin of the Spin Kick. He has since learned to lower his arms down when twirling as to not look like a tool.

–When they were young JonnyKu once beat Chuck Norris so bloody his beard is still red to this day.

–Chuck Norris once tried his Spin Kick on JonnyKu. He merely ducked and Chuck fell flat on his ass. Soon all of Chuck’s nemesis begin to have a field day with this move.

–Chuck Norris once attempted to stare down JonnyKu. Walker, Texas Ranger, is now called Ku, Texas Ranger.

–Chuck Norris once attacked JonnyKu with his M16 rifle. JonnyKu quickly kicked his ass so bad with his Ninja Sword to this day Chuck still has a fear of sharp objects, this is why he does not shave.

–Chuck Norris spelled backwards is JonnyKu. After a spin kick to the groin

–JonnyKu once told Chuck Norris he smelled. Chuck Norris asked “What do I smell like?” to which JonnyKu punched him in the face and said “You smell like someone who just got punched in the face!”

–Chuck Norris never gets shot in the movies. That’s because it’s a movie. JonnyKu never gets shot because he’s immortal.

–Chuck Norris wears a Bandana to look tough. Rambo and JonnyKu laugh behind his back.

–Chuck Norris once caught a bullet from JonnyKu. He died.

–Chuck Norris once looked at JonnyKu. He was promptly bitch slapped back into the kitchen.

–When a meteor was heading towards Earth, Chuck Norris cried like a little girl. JonnyKu quickly used his Superbowl MVP arm to hurl Chuck Norris at the Meteor…….The Meteor still killed everything in it’s path and no one was saved, but atleast Chuck Norris is dead. The world rejoices.

–JonnyKu onced asked Chuck Norris “what did the five fingers say to the face?” Chuck Norris is still too embarassed to mention what happened many years later.

–Chuck Norris is no longer allowed speak in front of JonnyKu, and must wear an apron and go in the kitchen and make JonnyKu a sammich.